How I Sold My Soul For A HitaiAte
by ashehole
Summary: A bit of experimentation on perspective. This is not to be taken seriously AT ALL. Catty has fallen to the dangers of her Naruto delusions. And now she's treating the Daughters to a tale... Oneshot.


**How I Sold My Soul for a Hitai-Ate**

**Summary: Catty likes Naruto. Her friends find it strange. And Catty sells her soul to the enemy to own one of those damned headbands from the show. !!Not to be taken seriously as sleep deprivation is a seriously problem!!**

**AN: This jumps from Catty's first person perspective, to her narration of what happens, to who actually duped her in the end. A little bit of experimentation.**

I sauntered into the room, feeling mighty and powerful, the object heavy on my forehead. I was _good_. I knew it. And they would **_all_** be jealous. I could seriously tell by the blank looks on their faces, and the way Serena hid behind her hands, and how Jimena began muttering Spanish at me. I was so obvious.

"Catty…What in hell are you wearing?" Serena exclaimed, rubbing her head as if she had a headache, but it was really because of what I got to wear and she didn't.

Vanessa groaned, her face going red. "Oh, _gawd_. I had hoped it would never come to this."

"Is she actually wearing one of those headband thingies from that show? Nurrutu. Naroto…" Serena grasped for the name of my all-time favorite show—I know, a shocker, but hey, a good show is a good show.

"Naruto!" I exploded, throwing my fists into the air so that they would know how enthusiastic I was about it.

"My God," Jimena sighed. "Catty, how did you come to require the headband? Did you actually spend money on it?"

"It's called a hitai-ate, okay?" I breathed, nodding slowly so that they'd understand. Seriously, my friends can be a tad slow sometimes. "And no, I didn't _buy _it. I sold my eternal soul for it."

"What?" Came three collective voices, so it was only fair that I explained what happened to them.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

It was a bright morning when Catty strolled down a busy Los Angeles street. She hummed a happy tune to herself, careful to avoid any of the strange people also strolling and humming around her.

While walking, a man jumped out at her, scaring her. Catty screamed, frightened by the large and comical moustache the man had that was fire engine red and by his long, black trench coat typically worn by city flashers. She held her hand to her heart, building energy as her mind screamed _Follower_!

"Well, hi there, little miss!" The strange man grinned, but it was hard to tell what he was doing due to that outrageous moustache.

"I will pummel you, evil scum!" Catty took the pose of a ninja, hoping to frighten the man away.

However, he just laughed and patted her on the shoulder. "I have a great proposition for you. You should give me your eternal soul!"

Catty dropped the pose, thinking it over slowly. "Why would I give you my eternal soul?"

"Because you don't need it! What does it do all day but take up space? Right?"

"You do have a point…" Catty couldn't help but conclude, being drawn in by the garish man.

"Right! So, give me your soul!"

"What do I get in return?" Her eyes sparkled in excitement with the prospect of selling her soul to the mustached man. Plus, her mother always told her to never give anything away for free.

"Uh…Well…" The man scratched the back of his bleached-white-hair-with-dark-roots head. "I hadn't thought of that."

But Catty's smile was too _hopeful_ too resist. With a flourish, he whipped open one half of his trench coat. Catty screamed bloody murder, expecting to see parts she wasn't ready to see with her half-virgin eyes.

"Noooo! Not that!"

The man cleared his throat. "Look, _dea_."

Catty gasped at the wares on the inside of the man's trench coat. _Naruto contraband._ So many sparkly things… She fell to her knees in absolute worship. "How did you know of my love for the ninja?"

The evil laugh went unnoticed by the distracted goddess. "Take one item for your eternal soul."

The hitai-ate, the one from the Village Hidden in the Sand sparkled the most, blinding her. She reached for it, tugging it from the man's trench coat. She pet, and hugged it, and definitely creeped the man out who made a life of creeping others out.

"Now. Give me your SOUL!"

Catty tied the headband around her head. "How do I do that?"

"Er…" The man shut his trench coat, thinking. "Well…"

"I know. Hold on!" From her pocket, Catty randomly pulled a piece of paper and pen out. On it, she wrote with a flourish, 'Catty Reese's Soul'. "Here you go!"

The man snatched Catty's "soul", hugging it tightly. "Yessss."

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

"And that is how I sold my soul for a hitai-ate," I finished the amazing tale, shocking my friends into more silence.

Vanessa sighed. "Catty, you need a boyfriend to divert you extra energy."

But what did I care of boyfriends when I could be a hard-core ninja?

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

Tymmie burst into the room, startling Lambert and Aura from their heavy make-out session. He ripped off his moustache, waving about the paper with the "soul" on it.

"I have it!"

"Have what?" Lambert growled, irritated to be interrupted during such an intimate moment.

"The soul of a Daughter!" Tymmie exclaimed, shoving the paper in Lambert's face.

"He's on drugs," Aura giggle, seeing the rage build up on Lambert's face as he stared at the words 'Catty Reese's Soul' on the paper the blissful Tymmie had given to him.

"You're no longer allowed to persuade Daughters!" Lambert screamed, ripping the paper up to tiny bits. Tymmie looked on in horror. "And to think, you were supposed to be one of the brightest…"

"What did you give in exchange?"

"Oh, that stupid sand headband thing from that weak ass show," Tymmie said offhandedly. "I found it in the other room."

"WHAT?!" Lambert cried. "My hitai-ate!"


End file.
